This memorial, for Codey, is not about what happened to him in the past, how it changed his life or influenced the young man he became. It's intended to focus on who he was and the effect he had on so many people, on-line and off.
The most common question I get is people wanting me to tell them what Codey was like. Codey was such a complicated personality that this is a harder question to answer than you'd think. I could say he was kind, gentle, accepting, playful, serious, empathetic and loving but I'd also have to add angry. I could cover each of those but I'll concentrate on just a few.
I'll begin with the one that probably raised a few eyebrows among those who knew Codey: angry. I'm not talking about common anger. Codey was slow to anger with things that would make others scream. What angered Codey was that some are hungry and homeless. What angered him was that some are mistreated because they were born different. He was angry that there are those who condemn those who believe differently. Bigotry, whether racial, ethnic or based on sexuality angered him. I believe it was this inner anger that brought out his good traits.
Codey had a private switch in his head that confused many people chatting with him. Codey was very playful and fun-loving but, when someone said something that tripped that switch, he could, and would, change into a very serious mode and visa-versa. If you were talking about a serious subject but said something he could see humor in, just hang on for the ride and don't take a sip of anything before reading what he'd type. More than one monitor has had coffee or soda snorted onto it from things he'd say.
Codey was kind and gentle even when in a joking or prankster mood. He pulled some pretty outrageous pranks but never hurt anyone's feelings in any of them. He was always available to anyone who needed someone to listen and I know of many times he was up all night just listening to someone's problems.
Codey was empathetic, he could understand how someone was feeling, and in a way he felt it himself. This gave him a special insight and made the person needing someone to just listen comfortable with him.
Of all Codey's good traits, loving is the predominant force in his life. He loved freely and unconditionally. If there's one thing that sets Codey apart from the crowd, it's his loving nature. Codey told me once that love is the only thing you can give away every day and never run out of. The more you give away, the more you have to give and the more that others give to you. This is what I'll always remember about Codey and we all should take to heart.